real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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