What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
