i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
