They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
did you just send me my own nude
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
