Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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