I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
