I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
