Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
