So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
