Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
