you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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