Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
