threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
