gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
