his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
