I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
