Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
