Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
