are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just invented taco cereal.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
