just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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