So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
