Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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