Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
