it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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