Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
