So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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