just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
