office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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