some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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