Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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