I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i need some magic done to my vagina
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
