i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
