It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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