In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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