Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
