so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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