Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
