its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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