oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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