things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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