And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
