Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
