So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
