there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was like eating out sand paper
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
