that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
