there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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