I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
