Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
