Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
