I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
