i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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