I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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