We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
