You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
