i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
